Captain Cosmos Retro Rocket Rhapsody

And it took 60 years to become a comedy. I recently watched a 1997 DVD of the 1953 science-fiction movie "Project Moonbase" based on a Robert Heinlein story. Yes the same Robert Heinlein that brought us such classics as "Tunnel in the Sky," "The Door into Summer," and "Stranger in a Strange Land." As far as I can tell "Project Moonbase" was written to be a movie, and was never published, at least not in any form I can find record of. I suppose it could be based on one of his early works under a different name?

I have no doubt that this movie was very serious fare at the time. After all we didn't know a whole lot about the dangers of space travel in 1953. They certainly fell short in a few areas . . . most notably in shorts. They actually wore shorts, T-shirts, and a beanie as their flight suit. I think the idea was lower weight meant lower cost. Still, shorts seem a little to casual for space travel don't you think? I always thought of it more as black tie affair myself.

Another strange addition to their wardrobe was the side arm. In the story America was the only country in space at this point. So with no enemies to fight, why did they need to carry a .45? Let's not even bother to address the results of explosive decompression. To make it seem even more out of place, you know the old idea in writing, "never introduce a gun if you don't intend to use it?" Well . . . they never used them. I guess the wardrobe department just assumed every branch of the military would carry a side arm no matter what the setting.

But enough about their fashion choices, let's get into the plot. The movie seemed to start with 1 plot, completely abandon it, and finish up with something totally unrelated. That's pretty hard to do in only 63 minutes. We start out with the machinations of an unnamed evil force in business suits. Though unidentified, this was the 1950's, so like every other movie of the era, they were Commies. The idea was that America had the upper hand by not only being the first in space, but also being the first to establish a space station. Apparently we skipped all the small steps with satellites, and just jumped straight into the deep end with a full blown manned space station. This space station gave the US a jumping off point to further establish the first moonbase. Hmmm . . . You know I bet that's where they get the title from?

Anyway, the bad guys are under orders to take out that station by any means necessary, thereby preventing the establishment of a base on the moon. Problem is that they have no space program of their own to work with. So naturally that means they have to get an agent aboard that station, and they can only do that with a double. The how isn't important, but they succeed in getting a double aboard the next rocket to the station. Though never mentioned, it is a suicide mission. You can't exactly blow up a space station and expect a rescue.

So we now have our crew. It's very progressive for 1953. A woman is in command. Her name is Colonel Briteis, Pronounced "Bright Eyes" . . . are you there with me? As if the name wasn't enough, they further undermine her position by making it clear that as a woman, she's lighter than an average man, and therefore cheaper to send into space. Next we have Major Moore. He was passed over for promotion by Briteis, again, because of her weight. Glad the Military doesn't actually use that as a criteria for promotion. Needless to say, there is some resentment on Moore's part, the 2 butt heads quite a bit. Last but not least . . . no forget that, he is least, we have "Doctor Werner" our evil impostor. Their mission is to orbit the moon, and photograph the dark side to seek out a probable location for a moonbase. They are under strict orders not to land, because they don't have the fuel necessary to take off again. The doubles mission is to take over the ship, and crash it into the space station when they return.

Major Moore quickly figures out that Werner is a fake, and a very brief fight ensues. As a result the rockets are fired wasting precious fuel. Now they can't possibly make the return trip to the station. Briteis makes the snap decision to land on the moon. Now they have a problem, they are on the dark side of the Moon with no hope of rescue or even communication. They are only 10 miles from the light side of the Moon. Their space suits have just enough oxygen for a round trip of that distance. But it takes 2 to set up the communications equipment. They can't leave the saboteur alone on the ship, so Moore asks Werner to help him with the communications equipment. After all, he's literally in the same boat, and it's his only chance of rescue as well. Totally forgetting that he's on a suicide mission as it is, he agree's to help because "if he wasn't forced into it, he wouldn't have done it in the first place." Doesn't work out for him though, because he dies by falling off a rock while setting up the communications equipment.

At this point the whole terrorist plot to stop America's progress into space is done. Never mentioned again.

Now we can focus one real issues; the intersection between the practicalities of space travel, and 1950's sensibilities. The two are not exactly compatible.

Though not exactly pleased with the results, their superiors decide that their ship's landing site is as good a place as any to start a moonbase. So the ship is re-designated as Moonbase 1. Their rescue is next on the list of priorities, but there's no real plan in place for such an operation. The crew is told that they will have to ration their food and oxygen to 10 days . . . Wait? Wasn't this only going to be a 1 or 2 day mission at most? And weight was a big deal. Shouldn't they each have a sack lunch and a cookie for later? Even at just 1 meal a day, why would they have had enough on board for 10 days? Moot point I guess. Soon enough they are able to get a regular supply of cargo pod's, but it's still going to be at least a couple of weeks before they can properly be rescued.

That's where the real problem comes up, and we finally get to the point of the movie. Their commanding officer back on earth has a private conversation with Major Moore. Or at least as private a conversation as they can have on a 2 room space ship. This is where things take a real 1950's turn. Remember what the bedroom looked like in every 1950's TV show? Even as a happily married couple Ricky and Lucy NEVER shared a bed. They always had their own single beds with a nightstand between them . . . Always! So how would the American public react to a young man and woman being cooped up all alone on a space ship for several weeks. Oh that just won't do. That won't do at all. Those two have to be married. They simply HAVE to be.

So it's decided, Major Moore [who of course really likes the Colonel anyway, despite all his posturing] should ask Briteis to marry him. She over hears the conversation of course. When the Major can't work up the nerve to do it himself, she takes matters into her own hands, and has her own private conversation with the general. We don't get to find out exactly what was said, or even who asked who, but the 2 are married by way of video screen shortly thereafter.

As something of a honeymoon gift, they are given new official orders, and addressed directly by the President of the United States, who, shockingly is a woman. Again, very progressive for 1953. Though I should mention, not that it makes much difference, the movie is set in the far flung future of 1970. They are congratulated, and officially separated from the command of the space station. Major Moore is placed in command of the new and future moonbase with a promotion to, get this . . . Brigadier General. Nothing like an accidental Moon landing, and a sham marriage to skip over a few rungs of that corporate ladder.

As I said above, this was probably a very serious subject in 1953. I'm sure the very idea of an unmarried man and woman in a space ship together for anything more than a few days was pure scandal. But 60 years later, it's down right comical. I had a seriously good laugh at this film.